Sunday, September 23, 2007

Joe Mathlete presents FAMILY GUY: DETRACTOR'S CUT

(Much thanks to my friend Jonathan for inspiring this)

Presenting for your edification: Family Guy season 6 episode 16, minus every instance it resorted to one of the program's Five Pillars of Lazy Post-Simpsons Hack Bullshit (see: the last thing I wrote). I searched at random for something from the most recent season and went with the first episode I came across, ensuring that the show would have a fair shot at giving me it's best work, or at least its most average and representative. This also ensured that I would only have to watch one episode of Family Guy.

I was able to shave a full ten minutes off the episode's runtime without removing anything that had remotely to do with the actual plot of the show. It takes a couple of minutes for the episode to really lean hard on the cheap hack copouts that are Family Guy's bread and butter; keep your eyes peeled and see if you can spot every time I had to cut something. If every example is correctly pointed out, there's probably a prize or something.

I'm proud at how much this improves the show. Watch it quick, before someone on the internet or from 20th Century Fox says I'm not allowed to do this and it gets taken down.

I'm taking a short break for a few days or so... When I get back: words!


Scotty B said...

Hey, I wanted to leave you a comment on your Marmaduke blog, but I didn't see a comments section. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about the D-bag and am saddened to hear that you may discontinue your Marmaduke musings (especially considering I only discovered them a couple of weeks ago). As an avid reader of the comments section, I was hoping you'd be able not only to explain Marmaduke, but Dennis the Menace and the Family Circus (especially the Family Circus) as well. Anyway, thanks for listening but thats all I've got.
Scotty B
Oh, by the way, have you seen the Nietzsche Family Circus? Very funny.

kevthegreat said...

Thank you for doing this! I always wondered how long a Family Guy episode would be if they cut out anything that had nothing to do with the plot. 12 minutes stretched to half an hour! That is just ridiculous...

topdownjimmy said...

You left in the chicken fight?

Some of these non-sequitur cues are painfully obvious: "Perhaps one day I could be more powerful than King Friday."

topdownjimmy said...

"I'm proud at how much this improves the show."

You know, you're right-- when Stewie says, "And I got a job following fat people around with a tuba," it actually words better without the visual aid.

Joe Mathlete said...

I couldn't really do a completely clean edit of the chicken fight without it being completely awkward. However, it did allow me to shave a full five minutes from the episode's runtime.

Mene Tekel said...

I still don't think the show is funny. The sad part is, those non-sequitors are the only thing that is funny. But if I wanted, I could just go on 4chan for randomness. I don't need a television show for that.

Wes said...

I do think this show is funny, on occasion, even though it drags things out unnecessarily quite a bit. That said, the chicken fight was actually a lot funnier in this version. And the hanging references actually added to the absurd comedy part.

Eric said...

I pretty much had to stop at the 5-minute mark.

Android said...

It's funnier if you think of Stewie as a senile old man trying to tell people stories that may or may not have actually happened. Also, is that prize thing legit? If so I'll go back through and try to find all the cuts.

Mar said...

I've been waiting for someone to do this for years now. Makes it almost watchable!

Clav said...

Even with all the random bullshit cut, this show is still horrifying and stupid. Thanks for your effort Joe, but I think your work amounted to the equivalent of spraying Lysol on a pile of pig shit with hopes of making it smell good.

najork said...


The blogofhilarity guy seems to be conceding. See here.

Also, please consider going into t-shirt design. Particularly shirts featuring a reproduction of "Guernica, featuring Marmaduke".

Skelly's Roommate said...

Hey, Joe Mathlete. I just wanted to say I've enjoyed your blog for a while, and I've especially enjoyed Marmaduke Explained. Good Job!

Oh, and btw, I did notice the Chicken fight thing, but how long was the fight before you cut it off there?

Graeme said...

I hope you're enjoying your days off, Joe! Whether this was an actual vacation this time, or another break from the internet, I hope you had fun! Looking forward to those words when you return.

Alan said...

Joe, I wonder if you've seen what went down on the blog of hillarity's comments? The gist of it is, you now have legions of loyal followers willing to do all they can to erradicate your enemies. Now all you need is an army of kung fu lemurs and you can rule the world.

Lethargic said...

For some reason I cannot play the video. Does my computer just suck or was the video removed?

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