Sunday, September 09, 2007

F#@k You Lolcats

Sorry to be complaining so much about things lately, but this has been bothering me for awhile. The nigh-infallible Achewood had what should have been the final word on the subject, but somehow this phenomenon persists.

I love cats. If I were less busy and more responsible, I would own a cat and I would love the hell out of that cat. I also like funny pictures of cats; I like cats, I like funny pictures, it works just fine. But in all my years of liking funny pictures of cats, not once did I want twelve-year-olds to caption them with almost pornographically-misspelled interpretations of what the cats might have been thinking.

Honestly, I think it's the misspellings that appall me the most. Who says cats can't spell correctly? Why is something like spelling "hi" with an "ai" (or is that supposed to be "hey"? I still can't figure that out) supposed to be inherently funny in any context at all? And if these captions are things the cats are saying or thinking, why does spelling enter into it at all? Possibly this practice has to do with imagining the cats speaking in dumb, cartoonish voices, but I've got enough imagination to think of a silly cat voice if I so choose without someone writing "your" as "ur." I'm starting to believe that people who make these lolcat captions are just mildly retarded and don't know much about the English language.

I'm sick of having to see the hilarious antics of one of my favorite creatures constantly co-opted for a dumbass internet fad that's far past its expiration date, and I'm offended at the implication (however subtle and obtuse) that, if cats could write, they wouldn't be able to spell correctly. I'm taking it upon myself to reverse the trend. Fuck you, lolcats.



14 comments:

Clav said...

Now to wait for the one where they say "I can has pickle grandpa."

Sadly, only devotees are going to get that.

Lethargic said...

Nwahr Kat speellz gud!

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/noir-cat-doesnt-mind-a-reasonable-amount-of-trouble.jpg

Adam said...

Hahahaha astounding. I smell a new blog:

Joe Mathlete Corrects Lolcats: (Thereby Explaining Pictures of Cats)

The Mayor said...

Dude, you are not the only one. LOLCats are so lame it hurts my eyes.

Mene Tekel said...

Amazing. I made this one a while ago.
I hate lolcats so much.



http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j202/m3n3t3k3l/kittenofevil.jpg

P.S. Why did you censor "fuck"?

tashikitten said...

I love lolcats. I can't help myself.

Mark said...

Thank you for saying what I've been thinking, and what cats have been thinking properly spelled.

Paul McRae said...

An Achewood fan. A man of taste you are obviously. You should check out the achewood messageboard. You may not have heard about it because Onstad pretends we don't exist.

We talk about a variety of subject, the comic, giraffe placenta, linguistics, pegging.

Joe Mathlete explains Marmaduke has been mentioned there.

http://www.touamb.com/

maxwell said...

why is it that achewood fans are always amazed that anyone else reads achewood?

Dr. Retail said...

I'm with you 400% mon amis! The LOLCats piss me off to an abnormal degree, and I think it is what you're saying. As a cat owner, I'd love my cat to be able to speak, but I wouldn't want them speaking like it'd had a frontal lobotamy. I guess thousands upon thousands of retarded pet owners feel otherwise. Probably the same people who speak to their children in "Goo goo gahaoauijffll ga ga" speak, lowering their test scores later in life, because they didn't have parents to learn the language from. Or it could be the people responsible for "va-jay-jay" coming about. Please God ... someone shoot me.

J. Owen said...

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/02/18/funny-pictures-to-go-home/

Saw this one today, and immediately thought of this post. It's surprisingly "Joecat" styled already, but if I were to recaption it, it would say:

"I have a pineapple on my head, but not by choice."

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