Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Oh crud I was supposed to come back yesterday

Uh, sorry about that, internet. To be fair, returning to your side wasn't the only promise I failed to keep yesterday; I also neglected to make it into work, which meant I didn't have access to the internet save for a brief jaunt over to a friend's house (which mostly involved checking a couple email and MySpace accounts and searching YouTube for that video of the guy who programmed Showbiz Pizza robots to sing a Fergie song).

That's right. I don't have internet access at home. I also don't have cable TV, or even rabbit ears. Or a radio, now that I think about it... I'm actually starting to see a pattern emerge, but it's not like I live in a lean-to on Walden Pond or just make dolls out of corn cobs after I get off work; I'm terribly used to having the internet where I live, so much so that it has completely and totally taken the place of both television and radio as a form of passive entertainment in my life (and anyway if I wanted either one, I've got youtube, last.fm, bittorrent, and like a hundred kajillion other things). Or it had, until I moved a couple months ago and neglected to call Time Warner or Comcast or a third, theoretically/hopefully cheaper provider.

Anyway it's worked out alright so far, seeing as I work with a computer in a tiny room at a company where most people really don't seem to realize I do anything, or at least pay attention to it. But I will not be working here forever; I'm what you refer to as a "contract employee," and plus I don't seem to show up to work every day (see: yesterday) so it might even be shorter than I'm expecting.

So: sorry I balked on returning to writing on you, internet. I like you loads more than I like doing my job. Here's that Showbiz Pizza video... Someone emailed the link to me; I have yet to watch it a hundred times since YouTube videos won't play on my work computer (other things I can't do here: access MySpace; use AIM, AIM express, Yahoo Messenger or Meebo; look at pornography; not wear shoes; hit people; urinate OR defecate anywhere except a men's or unisex bathroom; make out with the cute girl in the room down the hall without probably at least asking her first*), but as far as I could tell it's the best thing that's ever happened anywhere ever.

*: I guess these last few things are pretty much true of most of society and not just where I work


The Mayor said...

That was, quite possibly, the scariest thing I have ever seen. If I hadn't turned off my monitor, I would have wet my pants.

Tina said...

So, how are things coming with the Marmaduke is an Asshole shirts? I thought I was, like, number 11 for a medium, but I haven't gotten an email yet. (chemicalpink@gmail.com)

Grant said...

calm the fuck down, tina

Joe Mathlete said...

Trust me, grant: tina is calmed the fuck down. There is a sliding scale for such things. Also I'm occasionally a bit hazy on concepts like "responsibility" and "accountability" (see: today's post).

You should have received your email already, though, tina... It's from a certain "Joe Mathlete's Shipping Department" on July 23. This goes for (I believe) everyone who reserved their shirts in the proper, lawful and orderly fashion. Most orders have been processed already, so, uh... Spam filters?

Colinski said...

That was MADNESS!

Hey, it's too bad you took last week off, because Brad Anderson decided to unleash the filthiest chapter yet in the torrid Marmaduke-Owner Lady love affair.

Mene Tekel said...

That blog made me laugh until I almost choked. I hope you think that's funny.

Princess Sparkle Pants said...

I think you work where I work! I can't play with those internetoys, either, but I can (screw the man) blog! Bwah hah hah hah hah. However, I do have both cable TV and Tivo at home. I guess I am spoiled. Poor duckie.

jilly said...

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Randomly Yours said...

Dear Joe Mathlete,

Thanks for showing me the world of animatronic pizza robots. I will have nightmares for ever now.

But on a serious note. I too am a contracted employee working for a company that i may or may not like. In my office there was recently a law suit between a guy and the company. The guy was running a blog from work where he made profits selling stuff, and the company attempted to lay legal claim to all of his intellectual properties because they were made using work resources and time.

You should take a look at your employee contract and make sure that your workplace doesn't have anything absurd like that. It would be a sad sad day indeed if this were to happen to you. Who knows maybe it will save you from... "what was about to happen."

Keep on entertaining the internets!

Brian said...

You mean Joe's company might be able to wrest control of the right to be sued by Brad Anderson??

Tina said...

Hey, Joe, I just checked back and saw that you responded to my comment. I have not gotten any email from you, and I haven't had any emails in my spam folder at all. Please email me at either chemicalpink (at) gmail (dot) com OR wonkyknitting (at) gmail (dot) com.

I almost never get anything filtered into spam at all, so I'm not sure what the deal is there.

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