First of all, it's really long. Not so much long for a play, necessarily, but way too long to fit here comfortably; it's about seven pages according to Microsoft Word, and that seems kind of extravagant for a blog.
Second, it's not really all that great, taken out of context. I was assigned the first and last lines I was to use ("I didn't mean to hurt you... really. But it felt so goddamned good" and "I figured it should be less than 3,000 pages... All the best books have less than 3,000 pages," respectively) and had roughly five hours to write the whole thing (not counting the time I spent fighting with my computer, or getting sidetracked by KIDS director Larry Clark's endearingly clumsy 2005 film Wassup Rockers, which despite the absence of Lou Barlow or Daniel Johnston songs was pretty interesting). So the best you can say about it is "for something produced under considerable constraints, it succeeds on its own terms!"
Third, it's called "Jolly Jolly Jinglebeans." Probably because I hate theatre.
Fourth, I don't have the script on the computer I'm on now so the issue's moot at the moment anyway. God I'm sick to death of not having internet access at home... Comcast is supposed to come a week from tomorrow and end my exile in 1995, and not a moment too soon; I'm really fed up with having to check my email at work, like the frigging Pilgrims did.
On a 170% unrelated note, that movie Superbad opens tomorrow. For one reason or another, I haven't seen a movie in theaters in close to a year, but I might see this one. Michael Cera is going to own Hollywood within five years... You heard it here fifth.