Thursday, July 12, 2007

Arrested Development

Like hopefully every single one of you who ever watched it, I am an enormous fan of the late, lamented Arrested Development. Much has been written about the show's brilliance and the criminality of its cancellation(s), so I'll just say that it was a neat show that I wish they were still making.

Thanks to the wonderful technological advancement that is the DVD (which stands for Digital Viewable Dvd), I've watched the show over and over again since its untimely demise, sometimes with a good friend of mine whose enthusiasm for television (especially television on Digital Viewable Dvds) dwarfs mine exponentially. This friend (let's call him "Chester") is a man of strong opinions, opinions which often run somewhat counter to mine. Over time, Chester and I have engaged in a number of arguments over the show: which season was the best, which cast member was the most talented, would they really have been able to keep the momentum going through a fourth season and beyond, would Jason Bateman ever find work again, etc.

One such argument revolved around the actress Alia Shawkat, who played Maeby Funke (main character Michael Bluth's jaded and machiavellian niece). Essentially, we both found her attractive, but I thought she looked too young and too close to the age of the character she was portraying until season three. Chester disagreed, saying that she was hot from the get-go. Either way, we both felt a little bit weird that we were attracted to someone who was supposed to be in high school, and on top of that highly discouraged that we found it so weird that we were attracted to someone who was supposed to be in high school, those days seeming not all that long behind us. It was our first encounter with feeling like dirty old men, and the true sadness came from the fact that we knew it would not be the last.

Then, several months ago, Chester and I had the idea to look Alia Shawkat up on IMDB and see if that would make us feel better (Linda Cardellini, who played Lindsay Weir on Freaks and Geeks, was like 25 or something when that show came out).

It was a very bad idea. Turns out she was, at that time, 17 and a half.

Which meant she was around 13 when Arrested Development started filming.

Which meant that both Chester and myself were thought sex criminals.

Moral: IMDB is terrible.


spinecraft said...

fuck, well, i'm in the same boat.

way to use your sick time effectively, too. arrested development is the best.

my dog's name is tobias funke.

Matt said...

DVD is actually an acronym for Digital Versatile Disc. Just thought you ought to know. :3

Hannah said...

I think maybe he knew that and was being fun. Maybe.

But Joe: doing dirty things with your brain doesn't count. That's why God gave us brains.

toad said...

well, maebe is cute.

and you're a straight guy: you're supposed to find underage girls hot.

can someone please, for once, talk about how Buster is the best character EVER? because when buster is dating lucille two, it's just about the best television i have ever seen.

Mark said...

Sometimes I might look at a green banana in my fruit bowl and think "Oh man, that's going to be so tasty when it's ready!"

It's the same deal.

Anonymous said...

Mark, that is the best analogy I've heard all day. And DVD stands for Digital Video Disc, Mr Ass Nose.

Princess Sparkle Pants said...

Hunh. I had no idea what DVD stood for (and- get this- I never even cared), but I learned two things today! (That, and that duckies like children)(Just kidding. I think you are fine. It's not like you stalk her or something.)

George said...

I guess I'll see you in thought jail, then.

Bookseller Bill said...

That was one of the things I liked about Arrested Development - the people playing the kids were actually kids (Michael Cera, aka George Michael, was 15 when the show started).

georg said...

Tobias: Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

Michael: There are just so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.

ps --

Brian said...

I actually have come up with an elaborate theory to justify my strong attraction to Alia Shakwat, which revolves around the fact that it was less morally reprehensible than the incest she was participating in (multiple times) on the show.

Fun fact: The kiss between Michael Cera and Alia Shakwat in the pilot was Alia's very first kiss ever. Not Michael though; he's a fucking pimp.

Joe Mathlete said...

Brian: I aspire to your level of rationalization... That is brilliant. You're still a thought sex criminal, however.

Alan the Great: Mr. Ass Nose is actually right. I have no idea what the ass nose means, however.

Matt: Hannah is correct. I was making a humor joke.

Hannah: I'm pretty sure a large part of why God gave us brains is because he hates us.

Sam L. said...

I was thirteen when I first watched AD, so I'm fine. Take that, Mathlete!

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