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By Joe Mathlete, Great American Blogist
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2007
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November
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- Thanksgiving
- Great Moments in Mathlete History: The Official Sl...
- fun/asshole things to do to your family at Thanksg...
- Regarding these blogs I do
- I hope you have all enjoyed Fable Week
- Giraffe vs. Vampire Bat
- Turtle vs. Tortoise vs. Terrapin
- Frog vs. Dog
- Fish vs. Pine Tree
- Lion vs. Hamster (On a Boat)
- Lion vs. Hamster
- Pig vs. Snake vs. Ice Cream
- Dudes Korner: "How to convince a lady to have sex ...
- Joe Mathlete Improves Famous Poetry
- Haiku Corner
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November
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5 comments:
As I understand it, the vampire bat represents human moral achievements. It tries its hardest to climb what, gravitationally speaking,( in terms of human ability to over-come self-interest) is an impossible climb, inevitably fails, and ends up backsliding into a moral devolution that leads to the winning of the Giraffe. In this way we could also call the vampire bat the conscience in a Jiminy Cricket sort of respect.
The Giraffe represents the ID. It looms over our moral imperatives at all times threatening us with the lack of achievement. Its long neck could be seen to represent the length of human desires. This is why the vampire bat has to try to fly up the neck, going past its own desire, in order to overcome the giraffe. In the end, the giraffe is "mildly annoyed" which likely means that it is annoyed with the attempt of its own conscience to try to take it out of its den of iniquity.
The bat and the giraffe both (as they are metaphorically speaking, on person) could benefit from reading some ancient philosophers. My suggestions are Seneca, Plato, Socrates and of course, Jesus Christ.
I would help but I'm in the middle of developing my screen-play of a very adult version of Encyclopedia Brown. (I'm thinking Ryan Adams in his first foray into acting).
Okay, so I didn't know what a terrapin was, and I looked it up on dictionary.com, and the definition they gave was a bit scary:
"any of several edible North American turtles of the family Emydidae, inhabiting fresh or brackish waters, esp. the diamondback terrapin: some are threatened or endangered."
So the first descriptive word used is "edible?" Then as an afterthought, "endangered?" I wonder what a terrapin would have to say about that definition.
Anyway, I've decided that to make up for this gross oversight on the internet's part, that the terrapin would rule over whatever other animals were mentioned. Unless a badger was mentioned, because they have six inch claws and hamburglar masks.
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