Slang

It has occurred to me that I have come up with a fair share of slang terminology over the course of my lifetime, some of which I use almost every day, and I ought to begin cataloguing it somewhere. This probably isn't one of the worst places to do so.

FOR SERIOUS: What has just been said is true and is not a joke; for real. ("Yeah, I saw this guy bench press an entire cow. For serious!")

BEATS: This one is the most prominent in my stable. Similar to "Aloha" but more versatile, this is a general exclamation indicating:

-"hello" (PERSON: Hi, Joe. / ME: Beats!)
-"goodbye" (PERSON: So long, Joe. / ME: Beats!)
-"I am glad about that thing" (PERSON: I made you a cookie... / ME: Ah, beats!)
-"I am disappointed about that thing" (PERSON: ... but I ated it. / ME: Ah, beats...)
-"I don't really know what to say but I'm going to say something just to say something because that's what people do in conversations" (PERSON: Man I swear, the Astros have lost five of their last seven games with Jason Jennings on the mound. / ME: Well, y'know... Beats...)


and things to that effect. Can also be used in place of "Love," "Sincerely," "Respectfully yours" or what have you at the end of correspondence.

EAT MY BEATS: A challenge; exclamation indicating a throwing down of the gauntlet. (These jump rope moves are going to destroy you... Get ready to eat my beats). ALTERNATELY: Loosely, "kiss my grits" ("I've had it up to here with this entire broke-ass operation... You can tell the rest of the Jump Rope Club to eat my beats.")

PROPSING: Paying tribute; giving props. May or may not be ironic. ("Don't even pretend you don't like Richard Marx... You were just propsing him yesterday on your podcast.")

BRINE: Pee. ("No, I'll just be a second; I only gotta make brine. And anyway, gas station bathrooms are way too gross to make pickles in.")

BEANS: Generic, all-purpose swear word. ("What the... did that fucking cockatoo shit on my keyboard again? Ah, beans!")

These are my most commonly used challanges to the English language... Do with them what you will, but please don't make me regret sharing them.

Beats,

Joe Mathlete