"This is your chance to possess history. I am selling a player's 2005 Houston Astros National League Championship ring. It's a 10k gold ring with a diamond studded Houston Astros star, set in garnet stone. You can't buy it anywhere else! Make an offer today and have it in your home or office tomorrow. Asking $10,000 but willing to negotiate."
Depending on how you look at it, this is more sad than it is funny... Back when I was a geenormous baseball fan (my obsessions development went something along the lines of action figures - baseball - comic books - computer games - indie rock; hopefully soon I'll ditch music for "making an honest living" but it's hard to say), a guy named Ken Caminiti was what you would call a very good baseball player, a third baseman for my rather beloved Houston Astros. He later revealed himself to not only be a humongous steroid abuser (back when that was kind of a big deal instead of something that would get you booked on a Letterman comedy segment), but a pretty big coke fiend. Then he died of a heart attack.
So... yeah. Ten grand for an Astros championship ring! Or just make an offer! MUST ACT FAST! WOOOOO!!!!
(I will also be able to consider the much more hilarious scenario of scorned ex-wife/girlfriend/housekeeper/pool house tenant, but being from Houston it's hard not to think of that other thing)