Tuesday, November 04, 2008

ATTN: America

If and when we pull this off today (and by that I mean elect Barack Obama to the presidency), I am going to be the most annoyingly patriotic motherfucker you have ever seen. When they call the election at like 7:15 EST, I am going to be standing in the middle of the street waving the biggest motherfucking American flag you have ever seen, singing the national motherfucking anthem until my lungs bleed. I am going to wear nothing but motherfucking red, white and blue; any article of clothing in my wardrobe that does not fit this color scheme will be burned in a huge motherfucking bonfire (very tastefully and patriotically, possibly involving fireworks). I am going to wear so many motherfucking flag pins I will barely be able to stand. I will have plenty of extra pins to give out too, unless of course any of my fellow Houstonians are all of a sudden unwilling to proudly display their love and support for this wonderful motherfucking nation we call home.

Because it has been a rough eight years in which to both love the inherent good of the United States of America and be a progressive/liberal/Democrat/lefty/bleeding heart. But shit goddamn if I am not one motherfucking happy American right now.

Unless McCain somehow wins. In which case I will be rioting.

(seriously, though: unless something completely insane happens, today is a good day)

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

21 comments:

Jay said...

FUCK YES.

Gabrielle said...

OMG me too!

Graeme said...

I take it you're one happy motherfucking motherfucker.

And I demand video of your celebrations.

Adam said...

Congratumotherfuckinglations Joe!!!!

This is a great day for all.

My girlfriend's birthday was the 5th, and we were so happy about Obama winning that I "forgot" to get her a present and she didn't even mind.

Jeebus bless America!

tashikitten said...

Woo, I say. WOO!!!

scott said...

OMG!! OBAMA IS TOTALLY GONNA CHANGE EVERYTHING!!HELLO PROSPERITY AND GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING BAD IN THE WORLD

Joe Mathlete said...

I don't expect a magic president. I just want somebody who is going to be responsible, accountable, thoughtful and maybe even a tiny little bit inspiring to the American people. In the year 2008 that was enough to inspire parades marching through my neighborhood on election night.

Yes there is video. I will try to track it down and post it.

JLev said...

Where's Marmaduke?

xy said...

any word on your top secret project yet?

VivalaGonzo said...

Really enjoyed this post. Don't ya just love politics? Ahh...Palin...what a fucking moron.

Robo said...

Hey joe, great blog!! loving the pics and the american salute, im going to bookmark this for the future. please check out my link too which has top dating training from london puas.

Catnapping said...

i remember that night. i played his speech (yes we can) very loudly...speaker in the window...facing the street.

there was an impromptu parade here in missoula...about 50 or so kids with kazoos, playing ding dong the witch is dead.

i still grin at the wonderfulness of this.

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xy said...

seriously joe, where have you gone?

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