Saturday, March 22, 2008

(When you’re a kid, I'm guessing there’s not much of a difference between being depressed and being perceptive)

I would like to say some things about clowns now.

A lot of people are afraid of clowns, or they hate clowns. I’m not afraid of clowns, and I don’t hate clowns. I just don’t think they’re necessary, and they kind of make me sad.

When I was a kid, I was at a birthday party and there was a clown, making jokes, and doing things with balloons. And I realized once I got up close to him, hey, that’s not a clown, that’s a guy dressed like a clown, doing clown stuff. And then I realized that all clowns are just guys dressed like clowns, doing clown stuff. It’s a small thing, and may not seem like a lot, but it’s a big distinction when you’re five and you’re told that clowns are supposed to be a big deal.

Here’s this guy who’s getting paid to be silly and do funny things and make kids laugh, and then he’s got to put on this funny outfit and makeup and a wig, but at the end of the day he’s still just a guy, and a guy who just finished taking off a funny outfit and makeup and a wig; all the effort he puts into being a clown probably makes him sadder I bet, not happier. So why not just do the silly funny stuff without all the clown stuff?

Well, it would be kind of weird to just pay some dude to do clown stuff in front of your kids if he wasn’t a clown, yeah, I’ll give you that. But: why isn’t it weird just because he puts on all the clown stuff?


cb said...

hear hear!

i was/am scared of clowns. but without all the clown stuff, it would just be a funny silly guy. and i don't think i would have been scared of THAT as a small child.

but a dude wearing white face paint and an orange wig is ALWAYS scary.


Norm Loman said...

It's true. Clowns are obsolete.

Kevin said...

No offense to cb, but I'm confident that 98%* of people who are "afraid of clowns" claim so because they want to be a part of a generational clique that seems to believe clowns are frightening. They claim John Wayne Gacy and Tim Curry as evidence of scary clowns, yet feel no terror toward serial killers/literary monsters who eschew masquerade and just do their jobs. Granted, that remaining 2% was probably molested at the circus or saw a loved one involved in a tragic unicycle accident, but the rest is bullshit.

*This arbitrary percentage I made up also includes people who like the movie "Clerks" and rave music.

deckard said...

No offense to kevin, but that sounds exactly like something a clown would say.

Paul A. Rodgers said...

I like Clerks, and am interested as to what 2% I would belong to, as I generally hate cliques.

Did I suck 37 dicks in a past life, or was I molested by a clown?

Kevin said...

Since I couldn't find any better place to contact you, I'll put it here. You really need to read this.

lacochran said...

Every 70s TV murder drama featured a scary-assed clown in a fun house/carnival setting. There were close ups of carousel horse heads, too.


Where clowns are, can murder and cheezy 70s cops with bad hair be far behind?

Just say no. To clowns.

Reluctant Kerry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reluctant Kerry said...

Clowns are the rock stars of the circus world. Someone's gotta give it to the acrobats and contortionists.

Between the honking balls and the GIANT FEET (you know what I mean . . .) the clowns get more side show lovin' than they know what to do with.

Brandon said...

I was at the opening ceremonies for the PetSmart store I was working at, which is scary enough now that I think about it. At any rate, we had a clown show up. One of my coworkers had a clown fobia and started screaming and ran out of the store to the back of the parking lot where she bawled until someone could get the clown out of the store.

Likely one of the more entertaining aspects of the grand opening.

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