Hi there Houston: I will be at the Art Car Parade Saturday drawing stuff for free

The Art Car Parade is an annual event here in town where people who drive Art Cars come from all over the country and close down streets I usually drive on and a lot of years I forget about it until I have somewhere to go and I see all these orange cones and I go "shit, it's this thing again." I have been before and it's pretty neat, though; people from all over the country who drive Art Cars (which can range from cars meticulously decorated to look like things like sharks or tanks or cockroaches to just cars with a bunch of random shit glued to them for no good reason) come to my town and go crazy for several days, and it culminates in a big parade on Saturday.

I have been set up with a little booth where I'm drawing pictures for people, taking requests like with the thing I used to do with index cards. It should be a lot of fun. Come say hi if you live where I live and are going to be at the parade and I'll draw you something silly.

In other news, Funniest British and/or Jewish Comedy and/or Music Trios Week continues for some reason on 29-95.com. Finalists include The Beastie Boys, the crew from the Ricky Gervais Podcast, Yo La Tengo, Stella, and The Police (that one should be up sometime later today).

What you have been missing if you haven't been looking at 29-95.com

A bunch of stuff by a bunch of people writing about stuff, first of all. If you were specifically interested in stuff I was doing:

A review of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond on mute

A Shrek-themed wedding and the existence of Warcraft pornography make me upset

How Was I Not Fired, Part Two

Lotsa comics (scroll down a little bit)

One of my favorite local bands plays a song in my living room

Marmaduke Explained (still pisses me off after almost three goddamn years)

Coming soon: a review of the Godfather Part III where I mostly just ask a bunch of angry rhetorical questions and swear, a review of the Wolverine movie co-authored by my childhood, and a continued listing all week of the Funniest British and/or Jewish Comedy and/or Music Trios.

Check out the Now Train, future-style! (tm)

(sorry)

29-95.com - Joe Mathlete returns to the internet! Like, every damn day!

First of all: 29-95.com. BUT: Maybe more importantly:

What I Think Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" Sounds Like, Without Ever Having Heard It

How Was I Not Fired

Can Your Preacher Turn Into an Airplane?

Drawing Index Cards, Live In Person

Ruined Movie Soundtrack Smorgasbord

As you guys have noticed, I don't update this blog very often anymore, nor any of the blogs I keep. There are reasons for this: blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You may not find all of those valid or relevant, but they were all factors for me laying lower than I did in, say, 2007. But if you miss those heady times when I worked an office job and was so bored that every day I'd do something like replace one word from every CNN.com headline with "Grandpa" (I had better days, too), well, I wanted to let you know I'm writing stuff on a daily basis again, and you should read it 'cuz it's good.

The website, like it says up there, is 29-95.com. That's the latitude and longitude of Houston, my hometown, of which I am very fond (true story: I am actually wearing a shirt that says "it's okay to (heart) Houston" right now; I considered taking a webcam picture of the lame coincidence but a) seemed contrived and b) I've had the flu for a week and a half and I look like a doodoo zombie.) Though the site is Houston-centric, I won't actually be writing about Houston too often, though.

My section's called Time Suck, though I'll sometimes be doing work in other sections. I'll be giving them at least one post a day, plus two original comics, "Sauce Policy" and "Dating is Hard" (you can scroll down to see the first few) and a poorly-shot video of a band playing in my living room every two weeks. They haven't really set any limits for me; they've actually used the words "my playground" more than once, which I am okay with.

Honestly, the guys who have started the site have been enormously cool to me; my editor, Sara Cress, has given me an enormous amount of creative freedom, and between my freelancers checks and living like a pauper in an extraordinarily affordable city I am able to live mostly off of this. After a year and a half of working mostly as a movie theater lackey (see above, "How Was I Not Fired"), a grocery store food guy (it was a really good one but had crazy downsides, and anyway they fired me) and an actor (shut up), it will be wonderful to focus on writing goofy shit again, and drawing goofy shit again, and actually spending time on the internet again. I hope you'll check it out.

Beats,

Joe Mathlete

P.S. -- I literally did almost forget this: Starting soon, I will be doing Marmaduke Explained on the new site. Like, regularly.

Dating is Hard

Side note - I have a big announcement to make soon. Really!

The Mathletes - Linger (Cranberries cover)

Sometimes I have ideas, and sometimes I carry out these ideas.



The Mathletes - Les Os (Unicorns cover) video coming soon.

http://myspace.com/themathletes

Hustler Presents Great Works of English Literature

(Disclaimer: like most great ideas I have had, there is no way I am the first person to think of this. If I am... Crud, I shoulda submitted this to McSweeney's or something.)

(Also, I don't know where you work, but if you're a kindergarten teacher or nun this might be NSFW. No pictures, just dirty, filthy, sexy, sexy words. EDIT: it appears this has actually been messing with some people's work filters, so here come some asterisks. Bummer.)

The Adventures of F*ckleberry Finn
Brave Nude World
To Drill a Mockingbird
Boneo and Screwliet
Lord of the Guys
An Uncut Yankee in King Arthur's C*nt
The Importance of Boning Earnest
Taming of the Screw
A Separate Piece of Ass
Flasher in the Rye
Pride and Prejudice and Buttf*cking
The Old Man and the Shemale
As I Lay Diandra
The Gropes of Ass
The Canterbury Tail
Robinson Cruiser
20,000 Licks Under the Sea
All Quiet in the Western C*nt
1984 C*cks
Turn of the Screw
Portrait Of The Artist In A Young Man

God Dammit

It was only a matter of time until something like this happened: http://www.myspace.com/mathletes

Compare/contrast this band, now going on nine-odd years of existence: http://www.myspace.com/themathletes

YOU SUCK AT GOOGLE, CHICAGO MATHLETES