ONE: That is not Santa Claus. That is Dad, wearing a Santa Claus outfit and pretending to be Santa Claus.
TWO: Dad is drunk.
THREE: In a couple dozen years, that's going to be me over there, desperately going through the motions of being a good family man as I almost drop my niece on the floor in a bleary, whiskey-induced fog and perpetuate my lineage's unyielding and inescapable cycle of self-destructive sicknesses.
7 comments:
gotta keep the tradition going!
Stop the cycle!
Though a product of your genes, you are not a slave to them. You can change this tragic pattern and choose your own path in life. You do not have to be exactly like your father or his father before him.
For example, have you considered taking up homosexuality? Bet they never did that! Plus, the booze will ease it along. Use those negatives as a positive, my boy!
That's synergy!
dear joe mathlete:
this is a great day in my life. because YOU have a blog! that is not drawings or explaining marmaduke (both of which i love, but do not satisfy my joe mathlete needs. i am sure you get that a lot).
thank you, joe mathlete.
you have given me.....a reason to live!
I like how the title of your blog on some level might be influenced by the name of Jay North's "Great North American Slimdown" infomercial product.
--Similac
Surely, maturity also requires a fourth step: an advanced degree. So: what has happened to Imaginary Dental School? Those Americans who look forward to an Imaginary Root Canal are feeling a tad neglected at this point...
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